x2 pay tdy~
work.lunch w frens.aunt house.
evday is packed ttm..

congrats to dearest beeting...
the first to graduate amongst us..
had a mini celeb for her tdy..before she officially start work..
and start the nx phase of her life,as a working adult..
no more as a student..nx yr,it'll be our turn..

chatting and she was saying i having no life now..
so packed everyday..when can go out..
and asked me..if i was tired..
working,tuition,driving..and soon sch's going to start..
and i just smiled and say ok lar..since work isnt full shift..
and when sch start,work schedule can still arrange..

but actually,i feel so so so tired..
or rather,totally exhausted..
working at sh isnt an easy job..so many follow ups evday..
mentally exhausting..
and then tuition isnt just 1 day,but 3 days..
frens always so happy aft work,can go home le,can go out..
but i'm always stucked w tuition..
all keep asking me to stop the tuition..
but like so irresponsible..esp when her results rly bad and exams coming..
no choice but to hang on..

so scared when sch reopens..
dont know if i can survive and hang on..
evday,i keep looking forward to end of the day..
keep thinking of finish work,finish tuition..
and our shift's not full,so no lunch..
so aft wk,always just end up chionging for tuition,so can go home earlier..
and then,first meal = dinner..

and then aft dinner,smtimes i can almost immediately fall aslp on bed..
just slp even when my hair's still wet,and dun even care tt i just had dinner 5 mins ago..
tt's hw tiring it is..slping so early at 9+..when i always slp at like 3+,4+..
i think the last time i always slp so early is during pri sch days..

so busy,until sometimes,u feel u cant breathe..

i rly dont wish to be so tired,have so little time for rest and family..
but what else can i do..to numb myself..
everyday,as tt day gets closer,it gets increasingly pain..
and my tears can 'come out' easier and easier..
only when u become sooo tired..
till you'll feel ur eyes can close anytime,anywhere..
then those tears wont come out..
and also time passes faster..
and u'll completely be knocked out and dont even hv the energy to think much..
except to think of going to slp..


so pathetic,but what better ways are there..

hope that you had a good hari raya..

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