To the someone whom i don't know,but have been telling me so much.
thank you.

he didn't say anything about changing heart.
i guess no one would have admitted sth like this,anw.
but it was too fast,to believe it's possible.
tt's why its so crazy and hurting me so much,like never before.


he just said he didn't want to try anymore,didnt want to take the risk and hurt me,cause he know how hard long dist is..
and then from the beginning when ppl were telling me things and about what the girl say bout him being a bad guy..
and how others saying they're v close..

i didn't believe.i trusted him.i don't believe he's such a person.
up till the end,i still believed he wasnt like this..

but until some point.i had to hear from ppl saying tt the girl was saying they were tgt,since so long ago,the time when we haven't rly settle our problem..?
bt smhow i guess maybe they just started not long ago.i don't know when.
but the fact is,they had sth,they got together,somehow.

she's a friend who knew about us.
and he's the person i trusted the most,that ah gong i thought would never betray my trust and not do such a thing to that ah poh.
that ah gong that i thought i knew how he's really like,from all the things i heard from him..

that ah gong that i really want to wait for.

that's why i didnt want to believe,couldnt believe he could do such a thing..
i even wanted others to trust and believe he isn't a bad guy too.
and i hated it so much when others think he's a bad guy.


it just make me seem like a silly fool.a silly fool that was living in the world of lies for the past few months..
and how it seems like i'll never ever know what's true and what's not..
and i just couldnt believe how that ah gong can do such a thing when it wasnt tt long ago..
how can,the person who said will be faithful..saying hw he have faith in me..
how much we've discussed about doing this,how far we thought,him asking before if i'll wait till 4 yrs later..
and how hard he explained to me why he didn't want to try anymore..
even said stuff about how we could wait..w our options open..and then asking me nt to wait..
how he said i should have a few bfs first..
i thought he just didnt want me to wait so long,just for him..
he said soooo much,but still could do such a thing..


and up till now,he just left me,walked away,without explaining,or telling me what exactly happened..
that was the least,and something he should do..but he didn't..

all those stuff...
THAT's WHY it's affecting and making me so upset..
because from all the things he did before,how i know him,i just don't think he's such a person..to do sth like tt..
i don't understand why.


but i guess his option was always opened even when we gt tgt..

or maybe in such a short time,he met her..and thought i just wasnt the one,just like that..
because i don't get angry..?don't tell him things..
when i just didn't want to see him getting more stressed,didn't want him to get even more unhappy over stuff like this..
i just thought being in a rs didnt necessarily mean have to quarrel and be angry..
why cant it always be a happy thing..it'll be,as long as we work it out properly..

i guess,he found her a better choice..someone he can take the risk with..and i wasnt.
even when that ah poh had told him so much stuff..
wanted so much to support him,if he want to cont studying..
even when that ah gong told her so much stuff..saying will stand by her..

i was nothing.and it's so pathetic..
how can that ah poh be so insignificant to that ah gong..

i have been thinking and thinking..
about asking him for an explaination..
getting an ans to all the unanswered qns..

but i'm so scared that ah gong will talk to me in that manner he talked to me the last time..
that fake him,that hostile voice..
i'm so scared he'll just scold me for being stupid..
why am i not moving on,up till now..
and i guess he'll just tell me what's the point in knowing..
and he just doesnt know how it feels like to be in my position..
how bad its hurting..

and i wonder and wonder..
if he explain to me..
will he be saying the truth..
will he want to say what really happened..
will i be able to believe what he says..
or will i just be distorting his words..thinking in the positive way,that he just didn't want to hurt that ah poh,no matter what..

wanting to hope that,that ah poh really meant something to that ah gong..


he did all these..he should be the one coming to say something..why isnt he..how can he do such a thing...


now,GREAT!!!!
i'm supposed to be the one that's getting the greatest hurt from all these..
and now..
how she seems like to be scolding me!!!!so does it mean,she was the victim??
i was the one that deliberately caused her to go through all these??
then who caused all these misery to me??myself??
yes,myself!
because she didn't steal..i was the one to steal!!!
i was the third party!!!
yes,I'm THE ONE THAT's WRONG!!!!!!!
for being so silly..
to befriend u,and even wanted to help u w someone else...
so silly of me!!
GREAT!!AND I GOT SCOLDED FOR NOTHING,WHEN I DID NOTHING WRONG!!!!

the only wrong u did was not announcing it???

shouldnt it be my wrong,his wrong,that we didnt want to announce??
u mean u all were tgt before us??at the same time when u had sth w someone else??
i was the third party right...
yes yes...
must be it!!!!!
i'm the VILLIAN!!!!!
the first time in my life,i'm the villian,u gave me my first time again!!!!!
the first time i got so angry!!!

thanks to u!!!

silly me!!
why cry because of the dumb things she's saying..why let her affect u so much!!
when you obviously know u didnt do anything wrong!!!

where's that ah gong...
why cant he say something...
and i kept asking and asking myself..

what wrong did that ah poh do????

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