noobie bro doesnt like wearing shirts and long pants..
told him to match that shirt w shorts..
and before he went out tdy,came in and ask me if it looked ok..
that shirt and shorts..
that green shirt that looked so much like what that ahgong wore for his family photoshoot,on our first day..
just looked like what that ahgong wore that first day.
that green shirt,shorts and shoes..

and rmb how that ahgong was asking if he looked nice also..
asking about his shoes..whether matching the shirt w shorts looked ok..
we were sitting on the bench the first night..
first time hearing a guy complaining about his tighs too fat,using his hands to try put ard it,see if it was big..
worried about putting on weight,tighs getting bigger,but still had late suppers,ice cream..
that was that ahgong,the cute,somehw image conscious ahgong..
from that first time out,we werent tgt yet but he was already asking me about what he shd wear,what i was wearing..
and that first day..he asked again if he looked ok..
does he always ask questions like these?ask his ex?her?
did he said the same things,told them the same things too..
maybe not..i'm sure he told them the truth..
but i don't know what were the truth,all those that he said..

alphabets alone don't mean anything..it's when they come tgt and form words,then there is a meaning to it all..
but then what are words for,if they arent meant to be true..
words are not for us to abuse and create lies..
they should have other better meaningful purposes..
if words dont exist,then maybe hurt won't exist..because there won't be words like lies..
and we won't know about lies..won't create lies..


8 feb
2 more days and that ah gong shall be gone forever.
when we gt tgt..
i've thought of how that day would be like,at the airport,sending that ahgong off..
i know i wouldnt bear to see him off..didnt want that day to come..
i've thought of just wanting a big hug from that ahgong,and i'll hug back tight and it'll be enough,and i won't cry..
and would smile saying bye to him..

but now,i cant even do anything..
i even thought of asking him if i can send him off..
but felt so stupid..even if i asked,i guess he won't reply..so why ask and make myself even more silly..
and i guess others would think i'm so stupid to want to see him off..
that ahgong who did all these to the ahpoh and hurt her like this..
how could i have that thought of wanting to see him off..

but just thinking of that day,a tues..its so crazy..
to think that many weeks ago on that tues,we went out on ourself for the first time..
and many weeks later,we didnt know things would become so crazy like this..
and on tues,it'll be the day that ahgong leaves..without saying bye..

its so crazy..
to think that i cant say bye and see that ahgong anymore..
to think that that dumbdumb ahgong will be gone forever..

and it'll seem like ah gong and ah poh never once existed at all..
why must it be like this.

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