You'll know how much you miss someone,
when you can just stare at his pic,and all the memories will come back,and tears would just flow.
that's how bad it is.


"It’s when I’m standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you that I want to just scream to the whole room that I’m still in love with you.
Its when Im sitting alone with the phone in my hand dialing your number and hanging up that I would trade a thousand tomorrows for just one yesterday.
Then I could just call you to tell you goodnight.
It’s when I am really sad about something and need someone to talk to that I realize you’re the only one who really knew me at all.
It’s when I cry myself to sleep at night and it hits me how much I would give
to hold you at that very moment.
It’s when I think about you that I realize no one else in the world is meant for me."a million little pieces.


i really want to go back..to many yesterdays..
everytime i get a msg..
deep inside me..
how much i wish that the message pic that will pop up will be that of that ah gong..that mi mi yan pic..
how much i wished and hoped that maybe it'll be that ah gong..
just msging and ask how am i, or anything..
how much i wish that every night i can still talk to him..before i go to slp..
and smiling,saying goodnight to each other..
how sweet it was..how when he talk,he'll wait awhile and deliberately add tt sth behind,tt 'name'..
how he said so many types of 'names'..other than ah poh..
and we'll always laugh at it..
how we would take awhile to hang up..
how he'll slowly softly gently,say goodnight,sweet dreams,sleep tight..
how that ah gong would always wait for me to hang up first..
and i'll always take some time to slowly hang up..
how one time when i put down so fast..
that ah gong msged and say tdy hang up so fast ah..


that one eczema scar on my leg,left from that outbreak that time..
it's still there,not ok yet..it's still itchy from time to time..
and because of it,i'll rmb how we were sitting below my blk at the bench that first day..
how that ah gong saw i was scratching it..asking me..
told him about it..and he was so concerned..
asking me whether got apply medication or what,if not go see doc..
ask me not to scratch..told me go home mux put the medication..
he was so concerned,he even wanted to pull my leg up to see it,even when it was so dark..


how i wish that ah gong will be still here reminding me to apply the medication..
asking me not to scratch it..

how i wish that ah gong is still here,checking and asking if i've eaten..telling me not to don't eat..
how that ah gong heard about us girls saying about having apple diet..
saying don't think he didnt heard us saying,nagging at me asking if i wanted to do that..telling me its not good..

was buying bubble tea and rmb how tt ah gong said its not good..those pearls..
and i didnt add them..
was queueing and waiting..and thinking how the day he is leaving is drawing closer..
how i thought i'll never get to see that dear dumb dumb ah gong anymore..
and tears just wanted to come out..
how i wish that ah gong is here and tell me not to drink so much..

how i wish i can see that ah gong again..
how i wish that ah gong is just here with that ah poh..on the ph..
how i wish that ah gong can ask me to xiao yi ge..and i can ask him to smile too..
with that pic..

how i wish that ah gong can turn back..
and not have walked away and left that ah poh alone..

how i miss hearing the way he called me ah poh,in his funny chi..
how i miss calling him ah gong..dumb dumb..
how i miss hearing him sing,playing the guitar..

how i wish that ah gong know how that ah poh is feeling..tell me not to cry..
so scared of the day..he's leaving..and how he'll seem to be gone forever..
and it feels so bad..to think of it..
really bad.



“What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets...
your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows... and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does.”


i always feel so silly and dumb to think of him so much,to miss him so much..
but i just cant help it..

when others want so much for me to forget him totally,because in others' eyes, he's a total baddie..
but in my eyes..i just cant see him like what they all see him as..

in my eyes,he's just still that same ah gong i fell for..and he will always be..
that ah gong that was so serious..
that ah gong that was worried about hurting that ah poh..
that ah gong that ah poh really like..
that cute dumb dumb ah gong..

that ah gong that no one else can ever replace.

now i know,it was really love.

why didn't we,couldn't we,hang on..with that faith we shared..
and ah gong and ah poh can walk this long journey together..
it would be so much easier..happier..

our happiness was so easy.

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