"I don’t know what it is about you,
maybe it’s the way nothing else matters when we’re talking,
or how you make me smile more than anyone else has.
It could be the way that you say the exact right thing and at exactly the right time,but whatever it is,
I just want you to know that it means everything to me. "


it was a thursday.ard this time.

ag:u free u free u free?
ap:y leh y leh y leh?
ag:asking lo..wanna wanna go out for awhile?
ap:them?
ag:no only me and u.

that was the first time that ah gong asked..
i rmb i was in the toilet about to bathe..
and he suddenly msged..i saw and was smwh shocked..
but was really really happy..anxiously replying..

wanted to go barrage but realised had the f1 stuff..
ended up talking on the ph for so long..
when tt day was somehow the first day,the start of the talking on the ph everyday..
it was like we knew each other for so long to be able to hang on to the ph like that..and he even sang and played guitar over the ph..
it seems like we were best friends,so close..when we only just knew each other barely for about one mth..and wasnt tt close at the beginning,and only got closer like maybe for one wk or two before tt..

it's so funny..

yes,after all that have happened..
i should be bringing him down..
and not putting him so high up on the pedestal..

i should be bringing him down like what all my friends are doing..
scolding and scolding him and saying that's how he really is..
when i always hear them scolding..i just kept quiet..i couldnt even scold..
i didnt like to hear them saying,scolding him..
but i know it's natural for them to feel that way..
and i know i should too..
but i just cant..
just cannot bear to scold that ah gong,even when he's done all these..to that ah poh..

all i could do..
was remembering all those times we had tgt..it's all still so clear,seems like ytd..
was remembering that the ah gong isnt like this..cant be like this..
wanting to move on with those good memories..
and not moving on with that of what that ah gong actually did to ah poh..

how i wish that he had a memory loss..he forgot about that ah poh..
that's why he could do this to that ah poh..
when everything is still so clear..not so long ago..
and one day when he regains his memory..

i guess they arent tgt anymore..
but was it because he regain his memory??and felt guilty..that's why he didnt cont..
or was it just because she did sth wrong..or he saw how she really is..
i wonder and wonder why did he give up so easily..when he should have seriously considered about it before..then decided to choose her and knowing he have to hurt that ah poh like this..

so,was it because he really felt bad,felt guilty,and that ah poh still exist somewhere..??

if it is,then why isnt he telling that ah poh the truth,what exactly happened..

how i wish i can really read minds..and i don't have to be like this now..
and i can get all the answers i want..
and not worrying that if i asked him,will he really tell me the truth..

thinking and thinking..
what exactly was that ah gong thinking all these time..
why was that faith so easily gone..or did it ever exist..
when i was at his house..
what was he thinking..
when he was holding my hands and ask me not to let go..
when he asked if i really wanted to try..
when he hugged me..
when he said if we met earlier,he'll choose...
what was he thinking,when he did all that,said all that..

if what they say was true..that they had sth since so long ago and not only just recently..
then how could he have done all that..
what was he thinking..
what was he thinking..
what was he thinking..

because that ah poh wasnt it..and that's why that ah poh didnt mean anything at all,to that ah gong..
that's why he could do it??

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