didn't want to post anymore.
but saw shirley's post.and had to hold my tears back so hard,again.
meet up w her and jean last week. jean wanted to watch rapunzel.and for the first time,because of the song-i see the light, tears in the cinema,and she didn't know.



Saturday, 25 December 2010

it was about 2 months since i last met my friends.she had lost weight
the pain on her face was clear cut.
it was for that special someone.
she loved that fellow so much that shes willing to travel for him.

and i was pondering
is it worth it?

i guess i only love myself.
i even gained weight!
hahahaha~
at
16:31 0 comments




is it worth it.tt was somehow how i ans one of his qns before, when he asked if i'll wait if he had to continue working there after his studies.and i said had to see if the person was worth it,worth waiting or not.we only knew each other for such a short time, it wasnt about loving him so much.but rather because i thought,i found him,being worth it,and wanting to continue and love him more. it was supposed to be a simple thing and i just don't understand why did it have to end up becoming so complicated.

i keep wondering,did i deserve it.what did i do to have to go through such a thing.what did i do to have to be treated like this.why is it always like this.am i just too silly,or just too naive.
why is it so simple for others. Mine was supposed to be simple and sweet too,because he was going overseas,tt's why we didn't want to take the risk,and somehow wanted to wait.but why must it end up like this and looks far more complicated,even far more complicated than those in tv. when i'm just a simple girl.

this last day of december,31st dec 2010.a friday.
we started somehow from 1st oct,friday..and i thought could spend the remaining of 2010 happily, and end it on a happy note,with him.
and spend this last day of the the year with him.
it's so funny how pain it is, how much hurt was done,but i just can't hate him,can't blame him, can't forget him, and i just cant help but think of him,everyday.
and now,suddenly rmb how he was playing and singing every breathe you take,can u feel the love tonight,guan huai fang shi in his funny chi, and so many other songs, and tt one time singing for almost 2 hours,over the ph..

i know i'm silly.

how i wish that we can all start a new year, where all the past memories will be gone,and i wouldn't have to be so xin ku everyday,thinking how long will it finally not hurt anymore,how long will it take for me to rly forget everything, how hard i have to try to escape and act infront of everybody like nothing's happened. i'm so tired with this false pretence,i'm so tired to act strong when i'm not,i'm so tired of all these that have to become so complicated, even others didn't understand what happened. why is it so crazy. i like him,tt ah gong. it was supposed to be just so simple.


sotong's xmas/new yr gathering at my house ytd.
how tired i was, at the end of it.
with that facade,trying so hard to be fine,to smile.
xh sotong got attached ard one mth aft i got in and out of it.
how i was so scared because i know sotongs would want to hear about their story.
how i feel bad because i guess they don't rly want to say much because i was there.
how i thought if we were still tgt, both of us could be sharing stories,having a fun gathering,and see how the sotong family is expanding.
how i was happy for xh,for finding a gd guy. why is it so simple for others.
how i wished he was there,and they can see him.

All that time
Never even knowing
Just how blind I've been
Now I'm here
Blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here
Suddenly I see
Standing here
It's oh, so clear
I'm where I'm meant to be
And at last, I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last, I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once
Everything looks different
Now that I see you..

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