eyes got swollen from those stupid tears,in the morn..
dragged myself to work and didnt dare look at colleagues,scared they'll notice..
felt so bad tt day,and left work early..
just wanted to stay home..
but beet booked tics for hp already,so dragged myself out again at night..
luckily by then eyes were ok alrdy..if nt i dunno wad to say..
bec i guess only auntie vic knows i still secretly cry bec of tt ahgong..
and they wouldnt know anything since v long ago..


harry potter..
can never forget the first movie was out when we were 2001,10 yrs ago..
when we were only in p6..
still rmb it came out end of the yr,oct or nov i guess..
and i watched it w the first him..
rmb the things he said n did inside the cinema..
rmb how we got tgt n stuff..
rmb how he always walked me home aft sch..

and also rmb,one other impt him was there watching w us too..
tt him tt asked bef,bt i nv got to be w,and the one tt left me alot of regrets also..
and also qns tt i nv got the ans..
we used to be so close tt period of time,talking on ph evday also..
and seem to be even closer to him than tt first him,on the ph w him more..
rmb he taught me maths over the ph,he sang too,and smtimes still tried to beatbox..
and one time,cross country the nx day,he taught me how to run too..
still rmb,how he was teching me how to breathe the proper way,still saying mux imagine he's at the finish line jiayou-ing..
it's crazy,i dunno hw i rmb all these..
if i could still rmb all these,from 10 yrs ago..

then i guess those things about tt ahgong,i wouldnt forget so easily or never would forget..


first hp movie w first him..
and i thought last yr,i could watch tt last hp movie w tt ahgong..
but it didnt happen..i guess maybe he watched it w her..
i watched w auntie vic,and ended up aft the movie,aft dinner..
crying when they asked n talked bout tt ahgong..
we watched it on 25nov,1 mth bef xmas..

it was 7 mths ago..
same ps cinema..
and coincidentally,auntie vic and i both watched it tdy,26th..
7mths just went by like tt..
when it rly seems like we just watch part 1..
it's so crazy..

auntie vic was saying she give the movie 5 popcorns..
and i just got reminded of tt ahgong..
how he was choosing which movie we should watch,by comparing which movie got more popcorns..
ps cinema..as we walked into the entrance..
i just stared at the thingy they use to scan hp,for those mobile tics..
rmb hw tt ahgong told me can just go in straight,say wont need tics..
is it so easy to forget..


went into the cinema,and ended up this bunch of guys were sitting at our seats..
and beet started to ask them..
ended up they find out they were in the wrong cinema..
quite dumb ah,and funny..
so many of them,and no one realise they went into the wrong one..
then we were saying,imagining what will happen if we didnt get those seats..
then they'll have to wait till the movie start to realise they're in the wrong cinema ah..
first time meeting ppl in the wrg cinema..


was still msging auntie vic..
telling her i feel so stupid,to still cant forget and can still cry bec of it..
and she said..
'really,the scar has been so deep so deep tt it requires someone else to smear it up beautifully..'

the scar so deep so deep,will it ever be gone,even if someone smears it up..
tt feeling,tt fear,tt pain will still be there,or rather will nv be able to forget how it felt like..

telling her rly dunno whether if i'm unluckly or lucky..
unlucky cux tt 1 mth ended up making me hurt till nw like a silly crazy girl..

lucky cux i noe tt 1 mth was rly the best 1 mth ever,and meeting him tt ahgong,is rly the best thing tt happened..
lucky cux he said things i'll nv ever forget,things others wont say..

bt he didnt fulfil,keep any of our promises..

and auntie vic said..
'there's pros and cons ba.sweet yet bitter.happy yet unhappy.unlucky but yet luckily blessed at the same time...open up ur heart sage box and lock it deep deep within u ok..'

was i rly luckily blessed..
i feel more unlucky though..
cause i was rly rly rly happy tt time...
but tt happiness,i rly dunno if it was true or not..
as in whether or not,what he did was true..
whether or not it was worth me being happy about it..
i rly dunno,i nv will know..


and for someone that everyone sees as a big baddie..
as much as i rly like to..
but is it worth to open up my heart sage box and lock it deep deep within me..
will i seem even more stupid to 'lock a big baddie' inside me..
i know i know the ans..
i know i will keep him inside..
even when i know i look stupid..
i still cant stop myself..

is it so easy like hp movie,just saying it all ends here,means it rly will all end..
i'm sure,everyone feels weird tt hp movies are over,no more next one coming up..
yes,maybe aft awhile everyone will get used to it..
but i guess,it'll still be inside us smhw,the movie tt we grew up w..

it's easy to say it all ends here,but its so hard to do it..

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