sad sad sad sad.....

haix....today was a fun day...bt..aft reading xh n vic blog....i'm super super super sad again lar..nv post very long le..gt so much to say lar...in the past few weeks..so much has changed le...din expect the times i spent with u all could be the last few outings le??huh....very saddening lar...

results were out le..as expected..mux retain lar..at first gt 9 of us mux retain de..bt aft the teachers helped us appeal..left with 3 only lar..i think this world is really unfair lar..dun understand why some ppl dun put in as much effort bt still can get better results..haix..on the day before results were out n the actual day...it was super hard lar..broke down the first time aft getting back results..really broke down...it was really hard to control myself not to cry lar since i'm someone who cries very easily de..kept telling myself to be strong but end up wasn't tt strong lar..haix..really couldn't help it ah..tears jux kept flowing out..wa..really embarrasing to cry infront of everyone lar..first time all of u see me cry huh..

before getting back results already told myself retaining is not necessary a bad thing ah..get to study everything again..then might even get better results??and since at first had 9 ppl..i thought we'll still have each other's company..bt now..left with 3?n zay might be going poly..so left with hy and me only??really really very scared lar..really duno wad would happen if we end up in different classes..guess i would die lar..really really really really cant bear to leave 0632..to leave all of u...

now i'm still thinking if i should go poly..would tt be a better choice??i really duno..deep down i really wan to stay in jc bt i'm jux very very scared nx yr we'll becum so lonely and tt's really very scary..i dun wan tt to happen..bt ironically,what's making me stay in jc is becux of u all lar..still thinking tt we'll still see each other in sch and maybe ocassionally still can hv fun like in the past..haix...this it really very saddening lar..dunno how to cope with it...i've also tot of suicide??bt i noe its a silly thing to do..cux i still have so much more things i haven do and i also have a whole bunch of great friends and my dearest family..and i wun bear to leave them...i'm glad i have my motivation to carry on with this long journey..bt the road ahead is really scary and i'm afraid i dun hv enough courage to continue with this tough journey...jux very scared i'll collapse half way ...really dunno if i still have energy anot lar...i guess all of it are slowly draining away....

lastly..i mux thank all those who were there...my dearest VICKY,xy,juliet,wh,hy,shing,wl,my daughters...xh n sq..n all others..u noe who u all are..really thank you all alot...thanks for all the comfort,all the happiness u all hv brought to my life..i'll nv nv nv forget all these wonderful memories de..thank you so much....i'll really really miss u all...